BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)

directed by Bob Clark

When I realized this horror film was directed by the same guy that made A CHRISTMAS STORY, a got all giggly inside. It's almost too sublime. And the best part is, both films are true to themselves, and not half bad. But enough about the wonders of Christmases and bb-guns. Let's talk murder.

BLACK CHRISTMAS came out around the same time as THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, and while for some reason MASSACRE has become the well-known granddaddy of modern horror, the real breadwinner is hands-down BLACK CHRISTMAS. MASSACRE was about gross-out, creepy, fucked up individuals and the stupid, assholish youths who invade their territory... Rob Zombie sucked on its teat as a child. BLACK CHRISTMAS is about ordinary, flawed-but-sympathetic youths and the brainless menace that invades their territory. MASSACRE is sideshow macabre. BLACK CHRISTMAS is pure suspense and terror. HALLOWEEN should pay royalties.

Juliet and Lois Lane are members of a sorority... wait, lemme say that one more time: Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder are members of a sorority. There's a crazy dude somewhere in their vicinity and we know this because we were just basically the crazy dude. The film essentially starts with a POV shot from the killer's perspective as he climbs the side of the house. Then the phone calls begin. The insane, almost unintelligible phone calls that sound like a cross between fart noises and pigs being slaughtered. You could almost dismiss them as harmless prank calls but for this underlying edge of dread. And then the nasty language and not-terribly-subtle innuendo. Then girls go to bed and you never hear from them again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Oh, and they never catch the killer and you never really see him. That, to me, is the best part. I don't mind giving this away, cause it makes the film all that more unnervingly good. The abortion subplot/red herring (though ballsy, coming just a year after Roe v. Wade) isn't necessary and doesn't really do much more than add to the running time, but that's small criticism for a decidedly well-done horror film. Some of the latest poseurs could take a few lessons from it.

7.53/10